So is there a form we need to ask you guys to fill out? You know, you guys who cannot comprehend not saying everything you're thinking to strangers; who can't imagine that a stranger's life will be vastly enriched by you sharing your opinions, thoughts, or sexual desires?

I bet Bill Maher (thinks he) is fun at parties.

Yeah, silly her not normalizing violent verbal abuse and treating it like the criminal offense it is.

I don't think so. She repeatedly said she didn't want to be rude and didn't know how to react. He was her neighbor and an adult male who was helping her out. Yes, she was a fan, but I'm not sure what repercussions really needed to exist.

Tina Fey (via Matt Lauer) really nailed this one:
"I'm always amazed at what women will do because they're afraid of being rude,"

Ahhh, yes! The "If everything were different, everything would be different" argument that has made this country so very great.

I've never liked Chloe Sevigny and now I feel justified in my reflexive face-making in her general direction.

This is the BEST STUFF. I used to get major chapped lips no matter what I used — burts bees, carmex, whatever — big bloody split in my lip all winter. Started using this and have no problems since, going on three years now. I run outdoors in all weather and have zero issues with chapped lips.

This is the BEST STUFF. I used to get major chapped lips no matter what I used — burts bees, carmex, whatever — big…

Maybe it's the job. Remember when Lauer was brought in as the nice-guy breath of fresh air because of what an ass Bryant Gumbel was?

Cool! Now, all we need to do is have all the people with any authority at all in business actually get pregnant and give birth to with their very own babies since humanity proves over and over again that respect for others and empathy are nearly as fictional X-Men mutant powers.

Fuck YEAH, Sam Bee!

Bobbi Kristina's entire family is terrible.

That is pretty much exactly what I thought he'd look like.

My mom (who worked at a hospital) used to tell me stories about the motorcycle crash victims who were in the burn unit and why — just in case I ever thought of getting anywhere near a motorcycle.

My adorable niece and her adorable churchy little friends got shamed by their Sunday school teacher or parents or SOMEBODY at church into staging a protest which I think involved a bunch of thirteen-year-olds returning stuff to Abercrombie to make A Point About Morality!

When people come to visit and say that's where they want to go (Mag Mile), I'm always like, "You want to go see tourists and pay more than you would at home for the same stuff? Instead, let us to the BEAN!"

Could this NBC evergreen not get the rights to use the theme song to an old NBC show?

No, you looked like a serious job applicant. You don't dress like you work there until you work there.

Why don't they teach the controversy is what I'm saying.

Gravity. We'll be charging Newton.