They do have the more vibrant plumage. And don't get me started on those antlers!

An elegant spin on the "I know you are but what am I" riposte!

The problem with this (and it happens from both sides — unrequited love) is that you then start feeling like she *should* love you back the same way and that'll ruin everything if you go around resenting it — everything that came before and everything that could be.

I bet you're fun at parties! (Please note: the preceding sentence contains sarcasm.)

Look, ILurvTheGays has ONE NOTE! It's stupid, but s/he's going to keep playing it...

I can't wait for Shemhazai to carefully explain how you just don't understand the complex comment s/he was making. Maybe yours will have footnotes!

*confused expression* "...more for their own enjoyment?" But I thought everything we women did was so a boy would like us!

I can pretty much guarantee not many people are used to seeing men fight like men if how men fight is judo (which it isn't). Men also don't fight like boxing or MMA. Men fight like flailing, clumsy bear cubs. Generally.

I don't know what else you'd call a story with an angel as a major character and the central twist being that the main character experiences how the world would be if he'd never been born.

You may, but if there are t-shirts, I get mine free!

From "It's a Wonderful Life," Clarence's epic bleat revealing Mary's horrible fate — "She's just about to close up the library!" — slays me every time.

Yeah, but they're just jealous because billionaires only find them fourth or fifth most beautiful.

Well, that explains the sexual harassment suit my office just received filed jointly by Misters Ugly Duckling and Bambi.

She IS Iron Baby!

No, we ladies don't like passive-aggressive, entitled little shits who think acting like a decent human being is something one just puts on to get pussy.

Yaaay!

I don't blame him! Who wouldn't want to be more like Steve?

I forgive you. *waves hand in vague shape of cross* *throws peace sign*

Your descendants are going to be so ashamed of you, standing there so proudly on the wrong side of history.

And yet I *can* imagine a roomful of ass-kissing sycophants just not doing anything for extended periods of time while the star harasses someone who can't advance their careers.