Mentally adding “...but in a good way.” to all horrible news I read this week.

We should keep in mind that, while Deadspin Bear of the Year is often misinterpreted as an honorific or an endorsement of the bear, it actually just denotes the most influential bear, good or bad, of that particular year. For example, this bear was named Bear of the Year in 1938:

Honestly, it sounds like it’s whimpering “Help me” and begging for the sweet release of death.

The best way to “use sports to talk” to someone is the following technique, since it shows your vast knowledge of baseball, one of the sportiest of sports. Feel free to explain what you’re doing each step of the way.

Where have I seen that font before?

I’ll try my darnedest.

Mazel Tov on your future union https://twitter.com/DCpierson

Shrimp man is my soul mate

But Obama said he could keep his doctor! THANKS OBAMA

TIME Magazine is proud to announce its 2017 Person Of The Year: Congestive Heart Failure.

Tired of all the spiders in the real one?

I was waiting for it to pull a chain and get a bucket of mop water dumped on it.

i only had one job to do as a parent...keep her off the pole.

About wealthy socialite Daisy Collateral and her slow realization that her beauty really comes from her one true treasure: her face.

I guess the Trumps just giving that money to St. Jude’s is out of the question.

That’s what they originally thought, but it turns out he was just playing dead.