Any discipline they may have received has been kept under wraps, although the investigating officer recommended “non-punitive letters of instruction.”

The second wife 

That’s how I got my first wife. 

“Knot something you see everyday.” he said as the vehicle lumbered down the road.

Stanced.

Or not.

The BMW E46 design is widely considered one of the company’s best

I’m pretty sure that’s a 5-series, yo.

Same. Literally tripped on a Pagani Huayra getting into bed last night. And there are pieces of MINI Cooper all over the living room floor.

That’s not true, either. Everyone knows that nothing can happen in Europe without American help. Been that way since WWI.

“I’ll have the Kidde’s meal”

I usually try to avoid commenting unless I have anything useful to add, but I’ll make an exception today. I just wanted to say: Jesus motherfucking Christ.

Just once I’d like to see a Ferrari wearing a Fiero costume for a change.

Tesla is ahead of schedule.  They weren’t expecting to blow up in China for a couple more years.

The next time I see someone using their phone while driving, I’m going to throw my beer at them.

Your dream steering wheel awaits...

It was shitty, and I want another one.

I don’t use the word “hero” very often, but the Volkswagen Rabbit Pickup is the greatest hero is American history. Here was mine.

Hyperbole is the worst thing ever, in the history of the universe, and I never use it. 

Because unlike guns, the little toys inside might kill children.