I vividly remember going to a show in college with my friend who was quite literally seven feet tall.

Turns out being that tall isn’t necessarily great. He passed out from dehydration at the show, at first i thought he was leaning on me and i was like “dudebro! whats going on man, get off of me!” and then he fell and…

instead of joining the throngs of ass kissers worshipping Bey and Jay-Z

Gauche? Try insufferable.

Uhhhh but I feel like saying Beyonce and Jay Z, who are increasingly lifting and celebrating black culture, are pulling from Madonna's playbook is kind on offensive? White people taking credit for art created by POC isn't a good look, even if they are Madonna.

I give her shit for often being a clueless white woman. What would make her think that an actual Black female singer would revere her pathetic imitation? 

The unedited version

I got crushed twice when I was a kid: once when I was 6 when everyone was getting out of a theater, and the second time in high school when the whole school was being ‘released’ on a Friday. I have been claustrophobic since (can’t even swim because of that, and was afraid of driving for a long time)!

I am 5'0" and went to a Broadway show a few months ago... and sat behind a high-school age girl who kept swaying from side to side in her seat like a fucking metronome. So I asked her at intermission if she could sit still, and she did, but I still felt bad.

I’m 6'1" and I was wearing thick-soled boots at the last general admission concert I went to.

Unfair to speculate that she’s recently relapsed. I’ve been sober for years but my early relapses (five years ago) are fresh in my mind all the time. If I wrote songs, they might come up with a misleading level of immediacy.

I’m sure she’s a victim of Donald’s abuse but I certainly don’t feel any sympathy when it comes to her complicity, the nasty things she’s said about Obama who is nothing more than kind when he sees her, she actually smiled a real smile, she didn’t deserve his kindness or Michelle’s.  

I mean I don’t remotely feel any pity for the lady but you’re statement about black lipstick and wearing rebellious band tees to family dinners rings true.

It’s an enormously stupid thing for a first lady to wear any time, anywhere. Period. It’s for fucking petulant teenagers.

Yeah, I’ve always been surprised that so many decent people see her as a sympathetic character. She is evil like the rest of them.l

So do you think you’ll stop defending her now?

In fact, should we all make “Feckless Cunt” jackets?

Can you.

If I had a nickel for everytime there was a guy that all women hated, and all men loved and didn’t see what the problem was, I’d have a lot of damn money.

Why are none of his defenders talking about the allegation that he BLACKLISTED her??? That was the real takeaway for me. That on top of everything else, he may have prevented her from making a living, from GETTING WORK. That was NOT done behind the relationship’s ‘closed doors’. So, what...being a genuine Grade-A dick…

Yeesh. If I were Chris Hardwick, the very last person I would want coming to my defense would be Adam Corolla. Like, I would specifically contact him the moment shit hit the fan and demand he keep our friendship a secret.