Yeah, I’ve seen it happen. My cousin was addicted to coke, and she drinks occasionally now. She also lives in Colorado and works for a dispensary, so she uses weed pretty frequently. But as the resident family alcoholic (at least the only one in recovery), I don’t see her having the same issues with alcohol that I…

Emphatic yes. Although, if there was a neighboring state that I could go to for a procedure, then I probably wouldn’t consider it. That is, if all other circumstances were the same as my current situation. I love my current job, and it would take A LOT for me to pick up and leave.

I did, thanks. And then we got word last night that they are taking him off of hospice and he’s supposed to start PT again this morning. He’s got to be so damn mad. Things can change again in the blink of an eye, at least I know if I have to do it again, I can do it without fear.

Yeah, I know what that’s like. I drank to deal with when she got really sick, and when she died, holy shit. I cranked that shit up to 11 for years. I actually quit drinking last year, and was smacked in the face with all sorts of unprocessed grief. I’ve been working through it with a therapist and in recovery, and it…

The thing about your brother didn’t sink in until right now, and I wanted to pop in and say I’m so sorry for your loss. Even after 14 years, I feel like I’m missing a limb with my sister gone. Although she was sick and there was a possibility she wasn’t going to make it (which didn’t even occur to me), I can’t fathom…

It is. After a year plus of therapy and other work, I’m starting to see my anxiety and fear in a new light. I was way too in my head this morning. I meditated briefly, wrote down what I wanted to say, figured out who was with him so I knew which number to call, texted to make sure it was a good time, and then ripped…

I ended up ripping the bandaid off and calling. I had a script so I wouldn’t forget anything, and the only people with him were my uncle and cousin. I’m so glad I don’t have to sit and fret anymore. I can just remember him like he was when he was healthy and happy, and hope that he passes quietly so that he’s no…

I ended up writing everything I wanted to say down, and even recorded a voice memo in case I couldn’t call live and would have sent that to a cousin to play for him. Fortunately, I was able to talk to him, and he managed to say “I love you.” I’ll cherish the memory for the rest of my life. He wasn’t the type to throw…

That’s a good way to look at it. I was focusing so much on how everyone in my family has an opinion about everything, but if they do here, that’s on them, not on me. Because I can’t physically be there, I had to call, and ultimately, it ended up being a time when not many people were around.

Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss. In a way, this one is easier than others I’ve experienced, but it doesn’t mean it sucks any less when they’re old and everyone is prepared.

That’s a great suggestion. He’s my mom’s dad, and she was his favorite, and can’t be there. I’ll think of something nice to do for her.

Thanks :) That’s what I ended up doing. I could hear one of my cousins giggling at the stories in the background, which made things lighter.

Things just happened to work out where two of my family members I am comfortable with are there with him right now, so I was able to say what I wanted to say.

I ended up writing things down, and it turned out that my godfather was there when I got a hold of someone. I was able to hear him tell me he loved me, which I wasn’t expecting. It was a bit awkward, but I feel a huge weight off my shoulders now that I got to say goodbye. And, I heard my cousin laughing in the…

From what I understand, he’s not very lucid, but my cousin said when another one of my cousins called yesterday, he said hi to her, and that was the only time he really interacted with the world all day. I believe he’ll be able to hear me when I call, since that’s what the nurse said.

That’s a good suggestion. I just found out that my least favorite aunt is there right now, and she’s the one I’m going to have to call. I’m at my desk meditating and writing out what I want to say, until I get confirmation that it’s okay for me to call. If I don’t hear back soon, I’ll call my cousin and have her let…

Thank you for the advice. And thank you for doing what you do, I am so glad there are folks like you out there that can do a job that I can’t even fathom seeing myself doing.

I know I’ll regret not saying enough because I rushed off the phone with my little sister when she was en route to her transplant operation that she didn’t survive. She was being flown out, and my parents had to fly separately, so a doc called me to talk to her and calm her down. It didn’t even occur to me that she…

Guys, pretty off topic, but I need some advice. My gramps is on his way out (the hospice folks say it’s a matter of hours to days), and since I live in another state and not able to fly out, they suggested calling and my aunt would put me on speaker so I can say goodbye.

And, in the Facebook post, the person sitting behind them said that everyone could HEAR the dog crying and struggling, and then it stopped. People were aware of this happening. Ugh, it all makes me sick to my stomach, especially the victim blaming.