This entire exchange is why, no matter what drama the site goes through, I will ALWAYS love Jezebel! You'd never find this intelligent comedy gold anywhere else. *misty eyed* I...just...love you guys! I promised myself I wouldn't cry...

I was just thinking about Colonel Angus yesterday. I don't see why people make such a fuss about Colonel Angus. Sometime he overstays his welcome and you have to tap him on the head!

Don't tell the Bachmanns!

That is fantastic—I wish I could have had them at my wedding reception! My husband wanted Tenacious D's "You don't always have to f#@k her hard" as our first dance song....

Bethenny was at Malibu Sands with Stacey Carosi? Where?

I'm SORRY! Wait? Why am I apologizing? I need a cardboard cutout of that face to pull out when my kids do dumb shit.

RE: The Situation. I know, I'm two weeks younger. We don't look that old right? RIGHT?!

Obstetrician (baby doctor)

Thank you for addressing the sobbing! I hate when the OB says patronizingly "Aww, you have the baby blues." Uh, no dill hole, I used to be a stone cold bitch and now I cry at stuffed animals, I cry at tiny baby feet, I cry at Pampers commercials!

Ugh is right. He's like the square root of smarmy.

I'll be thirty in 6 weeks, how did this happen? I thought I'd have shit figured out by now, but I feel like I'm still wandering around wondering when my life is going to "start." I am starting to see that being raised by television gave me unrealistic expectations of life. When I was in middle school I assumed that…

You're the only person who has ever noticed! I always thought that was the coolest name.

Is there a lot of Champagne talk in this dirt bag or is it just me? I always read the word Champagne in Christopher Walken's "The Continental" voice from SNL.

I think they just trot him out every so often in order to make a well-placed 10 Things I Hate About You reference. Or...at least that's what I do.

The 10 Things I Hate About You ref pretty much made my week. Are you going to Bogey Lowenstein's party?

Noooooooooooooooooooo

It's crazy how the music and jingles can take you back to exactly that point in time. I had a rotten childhood, but the time spent watching TV is actually a happy memory!

Welcome to GoodBurger, home of the GoodBurger, can I take ya order? Kel was one of the voices on Clifford (the big red dog) a few years ago.

Please, souping is so last year. Everyone's trampolining now!

I read that as Indiana Jones and wondered why he was being such a dick.