Awww...I miss MTV! We were born on the same day.

One day I hope to have the problem of what to call my collection of Mercedes. That's why I stick to Kias and Hyundais. Oh wait, that's not the reason.

Hate the Drake!

Marijuana and monkey hot springs would help a lot of the world's ailments I think. But what do I know?

short for bj....

I could have sworn that said "Kelsey Grammer wed ex wife number four Kayte Walsh." Guess my brain was just filling in future blanks for me.

The crazy-eyes are burning my soul!!

I wonder if James Franco will be wearing James Franco at the Oscars...

I prefer to believe that the only Michael Steele that exists is the Daily Show Muppet Michael Steele. It's better that way.

If you aren't interested in the gun show, perhaps an invitation to the pants party then?

Ahhh—Totes McGoat, I love it! I have a Nubian goat named Abe Vigoata. Playdate!

I'd feel like a total boob if I missed out on this book!

Duh—this was pretty much high school in a nutshell. In other news, is that Squints Palledorous?

This reminds me very much of an SNL skit about Home Shopping Channel dolls with Alan Cummings and Ana Gasteyer....

@SevenNationArmy Hell Yeah E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!: Don't give them ideas, they would totally go for K'arcissist...

Matthew Morrison? Blech! Joel McHale? SCHWING!!

@ZioZio: I didn't even know we were calling him that!

@Margot Keller: My husband hid it from me @ 7 months because i'd lay in bed and cry about all the stuff I was doing wrong and all the stuff I'd do wrong in the future!

@alula: Shhh..now you're giving them ideas!!

@leesie: I think it's the new "exhaustion" or maybe "jet lag."