@mbot: My Lefty is shiftless and lazy, never in line. I imagine if she were free from me she'd watch reality TV all day and mope around.

I'm no fan of Jon Gosselin, but really Hailey...grow up.

Man I wish my boobs were even a little symmetrical. One nip points south and one points north. It's the equivalent of a lazy eye.

As my Granny B would say, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should"

Is she up for Little Miss Sunshine?

..my windowless van for some free candy. The kid is half my age, I feel so dirty thinking he's kinda hot.

@And so had his...you know.: Wasn't he an extra on The Sopranos?

@GatsbysLover: Aaahhh...I so coveted Bianca's dress, but my dad wouldn't let me get one. I think he was influenced by those Dawson's River kids sleeping in each others beds. :)

@GeekChic1982: I do believe I love you!

Yeah, I farted. JEALOUS?!

GRANDMA! Gawd...you're so embarrassing!

I could have sworn that was Madonna!

All I got out of Dirtbag was "Johnny Depp...underpants...." I'm satisfied.

Eli Roth and I had the exact same unibrow at that age.

I literally had a full body reaction to Spencer's tweet. It was a shudder/dry heave type thing.

@toe-to-toe: I'd come to your office to cure my female hysteria! Nurse—-this woman needs rum STAT!

Romney and Brown are your dream ticket, Massachusetts crazy lady? That's the stuff of nightmares to me...

@Puddlefish: No but I remember him on the show Sisters as James Falconer. I was probably 7, but I still remember thinking he was dreamy. Also re: "nerdy" Clooney—-I'd still hit that.

I need to print this and make a mask out of it for when my son acts up. That look even terrifies the shit out of ME! I want to apologize to my computer screen!

@Taegre: I so wanted to be Ashley Banks back in the day!