Remind me, please, what did Michelle Obama’s business that she continued to profit from while holding an official position in the white house tweet on Memorial Day?

her ass aint in a mirror, its in jiffy pop.

Wow, make champagne popsicles is the new let them eat cake. I never got that memo. Nice.

This is the Dump equivalent of fiddling while Rome burns.

I have two decks. My reddit AMA is forthcoming.

Yeah, gabardine refers to the weave of the fabric, not the fiber content. It’s literally an impossible thing to be allergic to.

Um, I’m going to call bullshit on much of Debra Messing’s “allergies”.

Also, anyone with a supposed “life motto” that includes profanity has the maturity of a twelve year old.

I think it’s pretty though for anyone who gets diagnosed with an illness so severe that it will require a full-time caregiver.

We are approaching our 5th anniversary and in that time we have experienced me moving to my husband’s country after only ever dating long distance, having a child within the first year and a half, having that child basically never sleep for more than 2 hours straight for the first year, me being diagnosed with a…

I kind of think people can change if they want to. If I hadn’t changed, I’d probably be on the road to divorce. I realized last year that my anxiety was slowly eroding my relationship, so I’ve spent this past year working on me. My husband similarly realized that I was never going to be anxiety-free, so he’s been…

I think “first year is the hardest” is really just about how the first year has its difficulties that you can’t really prevent and it is your first time dealing with difficulties in the context of marriage. There are more difficult issues that will come but you at least will have some experience dealing with issues in…

My coping mechanism is turning all this political drama into a relationship drama. Like a break up letter that reads: “I greatly appreciate you informing me, on three separate occasions, that the sex I gave you was the best you’d ever had, however I am breaking up with you because of the atrocities you committed…

From this one could only conclude that the poster and the retweeter believe that firing the FBI director makes you very, very extra GUILTY. Some kid, all those generations of buying B papers doesn’t seem to sharpen you up much.

In 1990, young Zabella had to see everything Christian Slater was in. The spark that was started by the bashful brother in The Legend of Billie Jean turned into a huge crush after watching Heathers. I sat through Gleaming the Cube (someone in Hollywood was like “let’s make a movie with skateboards!”) and The Name of…

She should be shown respect, and she should not be misgendered, and it does indeed take courage to come out (especially as a public figure). Those things are still true. She can both be criticized for her bigoted/ignorant views and also be given basic human respect—those things are not mutually exclusive.

I was able to translate the tattoo:

I have suggested this before, but here goes: SNL needs to get Leslie (Beverly Leslie) Jordan to play Jeff Sessions. Sessions would have an aneurysm.

So witches float and wizards sink?

Satan uses the same duration for his agreements.