I don't believe in God, but occasionally I fantasize about the surprise people like these churchgoers would be in for after they die, and find out God doesn't approve of crap like this. Would like to be the fly on the wall.

Wow this sounds great, seems legit! I've been waiting for a transfer from my Nigerian bank before I get my new BMW, but since you're posting this my dreams will come true sooner. Thanks Carlos!

I wonder what your levels of desperation must be to consider a pay-day loan. It's gotta be really bad, because your thought is just surviving *today*, not how this will bite you later.

Twin-parent, changing a baby on the damn floor solidarity high-five!

I mean, yes, it totally fucking sucked, and I didn't go back to those restaurants until my kids were like EIGHT or something, but as she said herself - she had a changing pad. That's what a changing pad is FOR.

(Note: If she had some kind of mobility…

I changed my son on a bathroom counter once when there was no changing table where we met a friend for lunch. Never in the dining room. Nope.

OF COURSE YOU CAN'T CHANGE A FUCKING DIAPER IN THE MIDDLE OF A RESTAURANT.

I would maybe, ya know if I was home sick and the cable was out, watch Nicole Wallace on The View. She's smart, articulate and can make a good case (one I mostly disagree with) for the non-hysterical conservative pov. That Cupp women is an insufferable twit.

I will do just about anything to avoid showers. The. Worst.

"The food here is HORRIBLE. And the portions are so small."

Oh, please. I put a sewing machine needle through my finger and my ability to point out this woman's clear bullshit was not harmed in the slightest.

I agree. I would like to know exactly what the fuck they're talking about. They all seemed like trained robots who avoid answering the question and instead repeat the same talking point over and over.

Okay, we've all sent the occasional crazy-reaction e-mail, but you're talking about someone who takes the time to write the letter, find an envelope, buy a stamp, go to the post office?

That WAS my mother. My mother made a big deal about how she wasn't coming to my wedding (she refuses to admit it's the thing where I married another woman. It's money. Except I offered to pay for her flight, food, and hotel room, AND for the fees for her to get her passport renewed—and she's retired, so she didn't…

Oh, absolutely. If you want to do the whole shebang because it's fun for you, go right ahead. There was just this expectation that I would do it and when I didn't, it was like I'd broken some ancient code or something.

A letter in the mail? I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten one of those since about 1991. Petty and old fashioned...

a similar thing happened to my friend! A girl who isn't nice to my friend and really only knows her through other people was angry when her roommate got an invite and she didn't, and then confronted her about it at a bar. My friends reaction was "Well, you never really talk to me and I know you say not that nice…

When I got married, I operated under the assumption that 75% of the people who were coming were doing me and/or my husband a favor. The other 25% were doing one of our mothers a favor. Because it was pretty much only the wedding of the century to the four of us.

Back when I was wedding planning, I never talked about our wedding on Facebook. That's how you avoid unpleasant conversations with people you don't want to invite. You just never talk about your wedding around them.

Ugh, I HATE those "your friend would be really hot if..." comments. They always come from men, and they always carry this implicit assumption that a) their own personal standards for sex appeal are universal, and b) women should change their bodies to accommodate said standards. I always reply, "actually she IS really…

a basement full of bodies is just a "bear pantry"