In what world is Jesse Waters a douche and this reporter not a douche?

Hassling private citizens at home is the new journalism. This is scummy as hell.

The one thing I never liked about Toyota is their “conservative” (i.e. BORING) selection of colors.

I’ll take “She’s an over-privileged, thin-skinned racist dipshit” for $200, Alex.

There’s no such thing as “accidental” farting.

Greg Lake played with some of the greatest drummers of all time (Carl Palmer, Mike Giles, Cozy Powell and Sheila E.) and he thought Ringo was a great drummer too:

Emerson, Lake & Palmer ruled.

Here’s how you deal with Patriots fans. Just repeat this over and over:

He implied it. If you’re against Bernie Sanders running, you hate Jews.

No, those people are called anti-Semites.

What kind of wood doesn’t float?

To anyone who is so anti-Semitic that they don’t want Bernie to run:

Now I’m like, how could I ever have believed Mia made it all up?

What do you mean by “no hereditary role”?

The same way Kay fell for Michael Corleone.

Yes.

Holy Roman Emperors were elected and hereditary.

Yes, they do. Gelasio Caetani was called “prince” when he was an army officer, and when he was Italy’s ambassador to Washington.

Disney Star Wars killed Carrie Fisher.

Why would you? Kings, queens and emperors have been elected many times in the real world, after all.