Being a Jaguar is like wearing a 60-pound weighted disrespect vest.

Obama is surveying the field in which he grows his fucks, and LO, it is barren.

As someone who has done DV work in the past, this is an excellent and nuanced article.

These are the same people who think president Trump can fix everything by decree. This analogy won’t work by someone who doesn’t understand the branches of government and has never heard of the power of the purse.

This is exactly how to explain Benghazi to people, in the mythical scenario where you could have a chance of changing a person’s mind.

It pisses me off that these assholes who want to make abortion illegal never mention the whole mothers needlessly dying thing. They want to portray women who get abortions as sluts who need punishment, not mothers who need life-saving surgery.

It was the same thing with Obama trying to close the Camp Delta prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. The GOP (and some shit-head Democrats, to be fair) passed a bill blocking all prisoner transfers off the island, forcing it to remain open, then they would run campaign ads listing it as a “broken campaign promise” by…

I’ll start worrying about Obama’s accountability, when the GOP starts worrying about all the times they stopped him from fixing stuff.

I can’t blame a fireman for not putting out a fire when the town wouldn’t buy him a firetruck. Which is basically the only explanatory analogy anyone needs for Benghazi, but for some…

And if you have an inconvenient scheduling conflict for the date of the birth, you just murder the baby and then traipse on over to your hair appointment. You can always make another one using welfare and Satan in Obama’s America!

Don’t you know? Exactly 24 hours before being born, the baby sends you certified mail informing you it’s about to arrive. And it’s helpful because experts know that this is the best time to perform abortions.

They’re pretending late term abortion means waiting to full-term, inducing labor, and then stabbing the otherwise perfectly viable baby to kill it just before it crowns. Because opposing the reality of late term abortions (ie. it is typically a life-saving procedure) is pretty much impossible, so they resort to…

he probably thinks of more of a popcorn in microwave.

This is the part that confuses me even more: ““The baby is about two-thirds already born in the birth canal,” Robertson fantasized.”

I wouldn’t have to rip them if they weren’t so expensive on iTunes.

Oh, I got confused because we were talking about babies this time. Derp.

He takes fetuses from wombs and sucks out their life force, of course. This character he’s created would be the perfect cover. People don’t know, but he’s actually 900 years old.

I’d like to punch their skulls and evacuate their brains into the nearest toxic waste container, seal it shut and send it into space.

For context, tt’s literally the joke that Alec Baldwin as Trump is making in the clip of that gif if I remember correctly.

He’s so evil not even Death wants to touch him

He’s old enough to have repeatedly lied about having fought in the Korean War, and seeing extensive combat and being wounded in action.