Diablo La Plata

bring her to the inauguration 

Velvet Dix, I kid you not.

This is a lovely idea! You are wicked, and I mean that in a good way!

OMG, Obama has a black baby?!

Peaches Platinum.

Texas has not always been the bastion of conservatism that it seems to be now. Ann Richards (Cecile Richards, the head of Planned Parenthood is her daughter) was a power in Texas politics, and she was known for her dry wit and firebrand feminism. So in the 90's, Texas had a feminist governor.

Survey Monkey.

I can see that being something that might actually distract him. He’ll be so thoroughly enraged at this “left wing tactic” that he’ll just devolve into a literally sniffling pile of side eye and word salad. I mean, more so than usual.

This might explain why Trump is getting whiny about how the election might turn out;

Hey, everybody! I’m Ben, the Benghazi Bengal! And I’m here to tell you NOT to vote for Hillary this November.

I think this is Trump dogwhistling to his birther bros.

And god help us, his supporters will be the skid marks in the toilet that just can’t be scrubbed away.

Goiter Pancake.

Bingo DuBois, at your service for all your clown stripper needs.

Muffin Grubbs-Rex. I sound very liberated, but quite dumb.

Goldy Colter

Missy Valley supports this message.

Hannibal Walnut... not as catchy. Maybe that’ll be my serial killer name?

It is news to me that people give the honest answer when being forced to play security question trivia. Why TF would I actually tell anyone my mother’s real maiden name? I was taught to treat those fields like any other password.