Becky is the one in purple.

*raises hand* I have also maybe and probably had an airport breakdown. Haven't we all?

She will be back in Ibiza for her DJ residency all summer

What if he was a whiny baby man convinced he’s the actual victim of his crime?

Now I’m envisioning an undercover activist wearing a tear-off outfit taking the job and then halfway through the event, when the line is longest, tearing off her clothes and screaming LOOK AT MY PIERCED CLITORIS YOU GUN-TOTING MONSTERS and then Zoidberging out of there.

What if...okay what if...guys guys what if...what if food ate people?

I went off birth control and all of a sudden my boobs just got fuller. It was so odd.

If I ever decide to star in a porn, it will definitely because God willed it.

That’s too much work

“I used to date frat boys, but now I prefer consensual.”

I’m still pissed off that this shooting, which the shooter admitted was an attack on women, did not get a ton of attention. People focused on the fact that it was in a movie theater more than the fact that the shooter was an admitted misogynist. I mean the host of a radio show even said that the shooter frequently…

Amy, sweet Amy

Won’t someone think of the beautiful blonde children?

Wear the lace. I guarantee you’ll look stunning and boyfriend will love it.

Or you could just grow up and not drink too much... But people don’t want to hear that. (And if you have a problem get help. It’s out there).

Let’s leave Kim alone, or at least discuss the underlying issue rather than just gawking.

My husband and I were watching Jaws last night and it occurred to me that it was nice when everyone in a movie didn’t have to be beautiful. We figure if they made that movie today, Viggo Mortensen would play Quint.

American Horror Story: Calabasas

It would have been better if when Kylie finally turned around her face was a decrepit ghost and she lunged at the camera and killed Rob.