but what about my boner

no one ever believes me but i get all my designer shit from Goodwill, so...

I kept mine because I didn’t simply want to take his. I also didn’t want the hassle of changing just to be the same, and, WHODATHUNKIT, neither did he.

Yeah I just took some Xanax before napping and feared I’d woken up in some strange future where Kesha and The Clintons were bffs. And also that Shilldog won. Thank Jeebus it’s not true.

I love this app. It is really helpful in estimating my fertile tiemz as I’m no longer on hormonal bc. I wish there were a feature where my hubs could check it so I didn’t have to tell him it was ladytimes.

Does Lorde do her own makeup??

Hee hee hee her hand on his butt is so cute!!

waaaatttt how come this is the first I’ve heard of trap covers?!?! Life. Changed. AF.

Not a breakup line, but my roommate-at-the-time was fucking a notorious player; she knew and was accepting.

Wtf that doll is def lighter than the representational pic. What is up with that?!

I like the direction they chose if that’s the doll and not a person modeling, but those snappy hands and jaunty tilt of the head will threaten many a pearl-clutchin’ whitey.

Finished it the day I got it from the library. Nothing too deep but valuable in its straightforward, no bullshit-taking adage. It’s far better tha Khloe’s faux-fitness shill, which I would have been fine with had it not included testimony from ‘doctors’. Rose’s book is far superior and has better pix.

so Aislinn didn’t get a pic then

Either my husband is fucked or I’m eventually going to be autoimmune-disease free...

Okay. If we’re gonna do this, I see:

No :( eye candies can’t eat sugar. :(((

Intoxicated bros at football games don’t get outta my way. I am 5'2.5". I check them, they give me respect, their ladies shake their heads. Capisce?

You inspire me. I only do this when back on campus for homecoming. The drunk frat boys give me O face and say I should be on our D-line. Their girlfriends get pissed that their dates can’t move outta my way.

This is why I need to be trained in self-defense: I can’t always have a weapon on me or ready to use, and I am not a shark.

Mixing the cold brew with the Coffee Bean Blast and tossing in a few dark chocolate-covered espresso beans is divine any time.