I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.

No, just tell him you're happy Obamacare will bring in the death panels so you won't have to pay for him in his dotage.

shit in his desk on your last day. then put a little American flag toothpick in it so he gets the message.

This is actually how I secretly go about making my collection look reasonable. 'Yes, yes, buy more! Acquire more perfume! Make me feel better about my own bad habits!'

The coldest, saddest puppy in Illinois

Everything about this gif is perfection!

Wait-is that a real opal?!?

Are we sharing our dogs? Because I have two with rotten manners and I love them dearly. Here is the latest shot of the, clearly, dopest one.

...and hands you a lovely casserole and welcomes you to the neighborhood, dear.

I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS

I actually work from a diamond lap top.

While Phil was comparing his gay fellow Americans to terrorists and animal-fuckers, New Mexico became the 17th state to legalize gay marriage. Three big 'ole gays were selected to represent the United States at the Russian Olympics. Hundreds of Catholic students in Seattle walked out of class to protest the firing of…

I think I found John Mayer's fashion inspiration, although his is a tad more avant- garde.

Duck Dynasty Star Has Been Preaching Anti-Gay Sermons For Years

Wow, edgy. I've never ever before seen someone post pictures of cooking meat to a thread about loving farm animals. You are truly a genius wit of Jonathon Swift levels.

Because being an asshole is easier for some than being a decent, interesting person is... and they can pretend that they just have an edgy personality or that they're witty, instead of working on developing character or any of that other difficult shit.

It looks like it can be salvaged pretty nicely. Just tousle it and maybe don't look like you just got caught masturbating.

Love ya Lindy but

He's out of luck. Peter O'Toole just died, and he was the last enchanting person on earth.

I make my cat wear a dress when he's bad.