If you think that is a lot of ketchup, then you have never met my mother. Seriously, we don’t even put the bottle in the fridge in our house because it doesn’t last long enough to go bad. And she always has a back up bottle on stand by. She puts it on cottage cheese and tuna. She has no shame.

Mommy Son Date Night and Daddy Daughter Date Night creep me out in the worst way. Do you people not hear what you are saying? The words you are saying? So, so gross.

Would that I had more stars to give because that 2nd sentence truly made me laugh out loud.

And an episode this year. I loathe him.

Don’t even care. Because in my head, it will be me and Hiddles. Those theater seats are gonna be soaked by the time the movie is over.

I never knew gators could climb trees. That is fucking terrifying.

I liked Swapnil so much in the beginning. It was hard to stay on Team Swappy these last few challenges. I think he is really talented, but this is not the format for him. It’s a shame. Team Edmund now. Oh, and Ashley pissed me off. All she had to do was make that girl a typical cute ModCloth-esque dress. Bam. Safe.…

I saw one where the perverted fucknuckle got tased. It was great. I re-wound it and watched it 3x in a row.

A great deli near me serves them with cherry applesauce and sour cream. Now I want to go there for dinner.

I have found my people.

Oh fuck me with the IT Works Wraps people. I have one on my feed that yammers on about it 5x a day and constantly invites me to her wrap parties. I want to wrap that wrap around her face at this point.

Oh, there’s more if you are digging it. Every pic on his office wall is a war movie poster. His messenger bag is camo. He can turn ANY conversation into a political one. (Hates Obama, but I think you probably sussed that out already.) Once, when his car was vandalized he said it was because of his Republican bumper…

Typo, but that is a delightful mental image. Uber Patriot Man would be all over that.

One of my co-workers is wearing a FDNY shiort today and he got choked up talking about how hard this day is. He is not from NY and he didn’t lose anyone there, he is just Uber Patriot Man. p.s. I loathe him.

I believe Wicked Attraction is available on Netflix for re-viewings.

I am glad he met you, because he certainly could never be married to me. I literally cannot imagine a relationship with someone that couldn’t watch this stuff because that would mean we would never see each other. My ID and Snapped viewing habits are kind of out of control.

That’s dark, man.

So, clearly, he would also demand that the budget for social service programs be doubled, at the bare minimum. Wait, what? Sorry, I had crazy brain for a moment.

I would put gravy in there and laugh like a loon watching the cow spew up gravy.

Or, in my case, thwacking the base of my thumb half the time. The fact that this thing has a pit remover very nearly has me sold on it.