True Jalops heat their water on a fire pit and wash their cars outside during winter.

Yep, I know. 16 year old me was a dick.

Cough, BS. Cough..

I used a tow-bar to flat-tow a ‘67 Olds Cutlass behind a ‘79 Caprice Classic. The Cutlass didn’t have a steering lock, and no one wanted to ‘drive’ it because the combination of lap belts and a blizzard seemed unsafe, so we lashed the steering wheel to the brake pedal with a set of jumper cables. There was just enough…

I drove my friends BMW and used the turn signals.

I fondly recall driving 25 miles home from Bed Bath and Beyond in a Miata with the top down and a laundry basket over my friend’s head because it was too big to fit on his lap and too big to fit on his head with the top up

this will also hurt commercial vehicles also as investments into diesel tech will now trickle or completely end

Is a slightly dirtier than advertised diesel golf hurting the environment more than a full-sized diesel pickup or SUV?

Shhhhh, you can’t come on here spouting the truth........

Exactly! If you desire to take a curve at a slow speed, you won’t skid into a tree. But, if you desire to take curves faster than your driving skills allow for, then you will end up crashing. The real trick is to find the happy medium between the two desires.

They lost control. Didn’t stay in it. Usually a string of bad decisions leading to it too.

Stay in control of the car that you, the driver, have been put in control of

Also odd that they decided to move to the Unlimited for the JK. Seems like sticking with the 2-door would have made for a more apples-to-apples comparison.

Hmmm... I don’t know, that Cell costume still needs some work to be perfect.

Sounds like a new ad campaign for the entire Hell Cat line.

The first thing the reporter said got me going.

This is a totally valid point. He really could just park the thing on his lawn. I think the HOA would still give him shit, but he’d be in a stronger position to defend himself. Perhaps literally.

I live in a very nice suburb of Boston. We don’t have an HOA. And no one does anything that bothers me.

That’s what happens when someone forgets to lock the dieselgate.

I was going for “you wrote the whole freaking synopsis, you added your own touch, you used MS Paint to cobble up a Jalopnik-ified composite graphic with labels, all with the premise of providing us with a Friday-Funday Automotive Unsolved Mystery.. and left us hanging high and dry with photos lacking decent…