Kinda makes you wonder why Johnny Manziel hasn’t tried out for the Mets yet.

More seriously, I understand that when people talk about being sold down the river they are undoubtedly still being treated better than a misbehaving slave.

At the same time, when people get very hungry before dinner they aren’t “starving” and when someone had to wait a long time for something it wasn’t literally…

People these days. All these snowflakes go right to their mommy blogs when I correct them on facebook by telling them, “Actually, your kid seems a little ‘cunty’.” Now I’m not welcome at Thanksgiving anymore. Did I make a big deal about it when their kid had an allergic reaction at my Super Bowl party? No. I told them…

Totally ridiculous.

So his pitch appears to be that while Duke takes care of its alumni, he can promise Kentucky never will?

Joe Banner, the former CEO for both the Eagles and Browns, certainly thinks so.

The former CEO of the Browns is giving the Patriots advice on how to manage their roster and salary cap?

(Let’s be real: Brian Hoyer ain’t winning you the Super Bowl.)

Racism. When Greg Olsen threatens to jizz in a woman’s eye, he gets nominated for the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award.

It’s because I come from money and I have a swagger and confidence about me.

UPDATE: This has certainly taken a turn:

Come on coach, there’s like an 11 year old kid right behind you.

Are we sure we can rule out a Space Jam stolen talent situation? Remember the alloys!!!

I still don’t understand what Mark did wrong here. Unless he campaigned for Michelle to NOT get the raise. Should he have made sure to negotiate for both of them?

I still don’t get this. He had nothing to do with her pay. He negotiations weren’t informed by her pay. He was a douche about money, and it had literally nothing to do with women. Sooooo, the outrage machine something something Mark Wahlberg is now attached to Michelle Williams’ comparatively shit money something…

That joke came far less Swiftly than I expected.

Never trust stories, only trust video of such incidents, Cian is believing.

This picture looks like Incognito is forcing Sir Patrick Stewart to give him a blowjob.

One of the greatest sportsmen America has ever produced, up there with Ruth, Jordan, Aaron, Gretzky. And to Deadspin he’s a fart cos his goopy stretching program is heavy on hydration.

1: Wayne Gretzky is Canadian.