Sorry, but the air high fives are lame. That’s been done. He should quietly take his seat on the bench and fold his hands on his lap. And the guys on the bench who broke character and smiled, fuck them. They did it wrong.

We could organize a rally to save the statue. I’ve heard there are some guys who like doing that.

So if I’m understanding correctly, Browns fans are supposed to be excited by a QB that was dumped on them in favor of:

That’s a really nice gesture, and something he can be way more proud of than his Marlins 2003 ring.

I don’t think that saying Smith is “no different than every genius fan in a sports bar or on radio” is a glowing endorsement.

not “thought”

smashmouth has to be on this list. HAS TO

Half of Chicago is now memorizing Mike Glennon’s full name and DOB, *fingers crossed* just in case.

It’s obvious Cleveland has no clue what it’s doing. You could’ve got a whole season out of him on a 10-day contract.

It’s actually very easy to fail at gambling. Get into the casino business a few years before every surrounding state gets casinos and table games and you will fail. Vegas can still make money because they have other shit to do. AC is not worth the drive now that everywhere else (PA, WV, DE, MD) all have casinos with…

Fortunately he missed Dee’s nuts

“Whether it works or not, one thing is clear: Carmelo Anthony is willing to do anything to leave the Knicks.”

“Mr. Trump, I could stand for you undermining me, snubbing me, making me look like a jackass by subtweeting or directly contradicting the spin I was laying down in my pressers, refusing to let me visit the Vatican despite my deeply Catholic roots, giving Sarah my job, making me the fall guy for all of your lies,…

It’s strangely comforting to know that even the greatest athlete on the planet still has to deal with an asshole boss. Some things are unavoidable I suppose...

They’re not protesting Trump, they’re protesting capitalism.

In contrast to his .8 APG career average, Roberson’s arithmetic shows that he does in fact know how to drop a dime.

My god, the “famous person says something fundamentally supportive in an imperfect* way so let’s shit on him” genre has to die.

ALL LETTERS CAN BE USED TO SPELL BAD THINGS AND THEREFORE ARE SCARY; WE MUST NOT REST UNTIL THE ALPHABET WE KNOW IS ABOLISHED AND A NEW, KINDER ALPHABET RID OF HATRED IS INTRODUCED!

The sheer randomness of their inception, though, means it would be totally fine if we one day decided to change them, too.

Play was suspended for the rest of the day due to a making it rain delay