This woman is an American goddamn hero. It doesn’t even matter that she’s Chinese. That combination of stubbornness, desire to spite the security officials, and getting your drank on just made an eagle cry. It’s beautiful.

Its not about her appearance. It’s about an unflattering still for a serious video on a serious topic. As Jezebel is a site that mixes satire and serious news items, I thought it was all the more important that the accompanying still reflect said seriousness.

I think also, because he’s Jimmy Fallon, they did some incredibly ridiculous surgery on his finger that I would think most patients would have just amputated.

Degloving is no joke. Basically all of the skin is gone, so it’s very prone to infection. I can see why they’d hold him.

I am a good Christian man

This is why any proposal that begins with the words “Bro, we should totally...” ought to be immediately dismissed.

That is one smug mug.

Here we have the alleged dick at a younger age...

I always think of them as older Vice President jewelry. Every female vice president (and above) at any job I’ve ever worked at has had a Yurman ring or bracelet. I wonder. Do they get it when they receive the VP title as a gift? “Congratulations, you’re a semi-powerful older classy basic bitch. Here is your…

I call a large peanut butter milkshake a “protien smoothie.” Makes it a legit choice for breakfast and lunch.

cunting out on a “fan”

We are soul sisters. Mezcal is my scotch.

Nah. If you say something dumb about a celebrity on their social media profile, that’s just the risk you take. I’m not about to start feeling sympathy for some troll. And what you think is a BB gun may feel a lot different to someone else - especially if, to continue to analogy, it’s one of millions of BB guns. It’s…

Delicious! (this review applies to the reposado)

Xenu, in the library, with a wig comb?

The pic of Streisand and Gaga and Travolta is the stuff of nightmares. Good luck sleeping tonight!

Lindsey Lohan writing a book = Bojack Horseman, Season 1.