Yeah except if you leave the Southern Baptist church, the worst you can expect to get is a few passive-aggressive postcards inviting you back to services. Maybe some guilt tripping from your mom or other relatives. Scientology employs people to actively interfere with your life, endanger your job, trash your…

She went way, way overboard with surgery, implants, and fillers. In still photos it looks fine but on video (and in person, probably) it looks ghoulish.

Same. I got all the way to “lip gloss” before I started thinking it was weird.

I wore a J Crew silk-chiffon bridesmaid gown for my wedding, in a divine shade of dove gray. $350 plus about $70 for minor tailoring, and it was just so lovely. I’m sad to read in the replies to your comment that they phased it out.

Oh yes, I just love it

One of the perks of living in the deep south is that I can, and do, wear sandals more or less year-round. I keep my feet nice though. (If I don’t keep them groomed and moisturized they get very itchy because of my tendency for dry skin and eczema.)

Being extremely rich means being able to walk around looking like a 19 year old basement dwelling stoner with complete impunity. See also Mark Cuban.

Pets die. It's an unfortunate fact of life.

THE WACKNESS, IT BURNS

Somewhere, the ghost of an ostrich is laughing its ass off.

Okay 

I dunno, it’s just a joke. I could show up in a trash bag and a dildo crown and my dad probably wouldn’t even notice, much less give a shit.

Probably. She really seems quite well adjusted for the product of such a famously toxic marriage. Not to mention her notoriously rageaholic douchebag dad. I hope she makes his life half as intolerable as he made Kim's, honestly.

Of course she did, and it's a good thing too, seeing as how Madonna suddenly turning humble and deferential is one of the signs of imminent apocalypse. 

FUCK YOU, DAD. I mean it's kind of what she's saying with the photo anyway, right?

My ex husband would have emotional breakdowns and drama every year on my birthday too. Interesting.

lolllllll

A fitting tribute to an icon. I never tire of your writing or her singing. 

I remember the first time a celebrity broke my heart by not living up to the idealized image I had of them in my head. It sucks. That's life.

Amber, that's bush league. Real pro revenge would have been waiting for him to get blackout drunk and then get the dog to shit directly on his face.