It’s easy. Step 1, live in Florida. Step 2, don’t have a job. Step 3, lots of drugs. Voila, 9 arrests by age 23.

I live in metro Atl too (38/f/white). I assume most people who don’t know me personally would guess I voted for Trump. I don’t give a crap if anyone thinks I did tbh. Quite a few people got bent out of shape when they found out I voted for Clinton, actually, so maybe I need a #fuckyouropinion t shirt or something.

Don’t start none won’t be none, lady. Let this be a lesson.

He’s the IRL Dos Equis guy.

He’s either the hardest working man in showbusiness, or a robot. Or a demon.

This. I do admire Megyn Kelly - she’s got brains and balls and she doesn’t take crap from men - but let’s not kid ourselves. She’s about getting HERS, and even though I don’t begrudge people going hard for their goals and achieving Big Things, I do wish she would put some of that clout behind an actual worthy cause.…

Jezebel is not a fucking live news service. It’s a pop culture and politics blog. There’s no clock on them as far as I know. If you want instant updates, try Fox News or TMZ.

I enjoy Boulware’s antics in general. He’s the type of kid who grew up as “the funny one” in a family of not-very-funny people.

My cousin’s husband and his younger half brother - sons of the same mother - have the same first name. One goes by his middle name. Still weird though.

Let’s face it, Mariah has been a messy diva since before the “Glitter” days. I wasn’t even surprised when this NYE thing happened. I honestly would have been kinda shocked if she went out and gave a tight show like a seasoned pro. That’s just not who she is.

I once saw a bumper sticker that said “Jerry’s dead, Phish sucks, get over it.” I still laugh about that shit even though I love the Dead and several modern day jam bands (not a huge Phish fan). Joe needs that bumper sticker, man. And some “truk nutz.”

I give it 2 seasons before Kiffin is out at FAU. There’s a reason nobody likes this fucking guy.

I accidentally told a dirty joke to a Southern Baptist preacher when I was 11. “What do turtles and blonds have in common? When they fall on their backs, they’re screwed.” I honestly thought it was just a dumb joke and did not get the sexual innuendo. My mother (yes, my mother was also there, gaahhh) was mortified.…

A bit of NYE grabass. How festive.

Don’t invite her. She doesn’t deserve to be there. If the others don’t come, they don’t come. Their loss. Best of luck. XO

S E C

Haha, my thoughts exactly. Like he doesn’t already know exactly what the incoming administrations policies are. Hilarious.

You really gotta hand it to this guy. He is a diabolical genius. Not to mention my new Petty Crocker hero. (Don’t @ me for saying nice things about Putin OK, I hate him and think he should be erased from the universe)

Hahaaa, classic. My loser high school friends and I tried rolling a joint out of a mini-bible page one time down by the river but we failed and ended up smoking our shitty weed out of an old soda can we found on the ground... I honestly miss those days.

YES. THANK YOU. I should have read the greys before commenting lol