He looks like every pompous “mixologist” who fucked up my Old Fashioned and then insisted that they are supposed to be made with clamato juice and Skittles.

I would add that putting mayo on anything is a goddamn sin as well

People ARE animals. If you get your feathers ruffled with internet commenters comparing children to animals, you’re clearly just out looking for things to be offended by. Lighten up.

Also, should I post this four times?

When you get all up in somebody’s (or a few somebody’s) face/s in a public space and they all start recording video on their phones... I mean, you’re about to go viral in a bad way — I mean seriously, #TargetTammy here is gonna be identified before the weekend — so you’d best shut up and move along.

Couldn’t agree more. Yeah, yeah, willing suspension of disbelief and all, but there are episodes of “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” that are more grounded in reality than the whole cabaret scene — especially the simultaneous translation scene.

Complete lack of critical thinking? Check. Unwavering belief that white conservatives are the most beleaguered, victimized community in America? Check. Typos galore? Oh, check indeed. Aunt Myrtle, is that you?

Axe body spray and Cheetos? 

Somewhat related, but I always enjoy it waaaaaay too much when you’re at a concert right before it begins, and there’s some dipshit standing there talking on his phone, and the band starts playing and it’s loud and the audience cheers and then Mr. Dipshit gets that pissy, irritated look on his face because now he…

I rarely go to the movies anymore, because it seems that most people go to the movies specifically to talk with their friends (or dick around on their smartphones), as opposed to, you know, watching the fucking movie.

“The man in the Chargers blazer, who said his wife is pregnant.”

Related: When you go into the office restroom and some guy is in a stall taking a shit while gasping, grunting, panting and otherwise letting the world know that he doesn’t get nearly enough fiber in his diet.

A long time I ago I read an in-flight magazine and they interviewed Andrew Zimmern, who claimed that he routed his flights through Atlanta whenever possible because the airport has a Chik-Fil-A. Which made me kinda hate Andrew Zimmern.

Doesn’t head-butting somebody hurt you as well?
(Insert “Not if your skull is as thick as the average Steelers fan” joke here.)

Judging a book by its cover here, but ... Ailey O’Toole looks like a hot mess of mental health issues. Which doesn’t excuse stealing from other writers, but still. I’m guessing that she really believes that the plagiarized line she now has tattooed on her forearm is “hers.”

Convince a bunch of incels to curb their jerking off? All that hostility is gonna manifest itself SOMEWHERE.

Don’t say you were FIRED from Mic, Kendall, you were laid off. While the end result (unemployment) is the same, “fired” implies your employment was terminated because you were bad at your job. However, anybody who touts breaking a Kardashian story as a peak in their journalismism career probably isn’t quite the keen st…

Mike McCarthy looks like the kind of guy who wears his “fancy” baseball cap to funerals and weddings

Don’t forget the condescending, self-satisfied tone. “Oh, you foolish libtard snowflakes, you don’t get it like I do... Lemme school you on HOW THINGS REALLY ARE.”

All white people look alike

Eden Prairie makes Duluth look like Compton.