Who brings a hamster to work?

ahem.

Did Bat Bat's dad ever say, "Hey btw, sorry about my awful daughter"?

How did she not get arrested???

Shit, where to begin? There was the guy I met off Match who let me know (over the salad course) that he had Type 1 diabetes and while it hadn't given him an awesome Wilfred Brimley walrus-stache, it had given him erectile dysfunction. So in his words, "don't pay attention to my willie. He might not stand at attention,…

Met a good looking guy on POF (plenty of fish). We'd gone out a few times but we'd never hung out at either person's house. He was a personal trainer and one evening after I picked him up from work (his car was in the shop) we stopped by my place to change (personal trainer = free workouts) and hit a movie. We'd…

Here is one of the best unsolicited messages I've received, unedited and unabridged (except that I am omitting the name and number he provided at the end):

I've figured it out. This is the creeping madness that heralds the awakening of Cthulhu in watery R'lyeh! Rejoice! Soon you will be reduced to gibbering insanities as the priest of the Old Ones arises to retake the world that is rightfully His! Ia! Ia!

So I guess I should discontinue my "Shave the Children" charity, then...

I was at boarding school in 1975 for my senior prom. Everyone in the fairly small senior class knew each other well and so my date and I were hanging out with a group of about 8 other kids. We stepped outside for a cigarette and noticed the school vans were parked nearby. Upon closer inspection, we saw that one had…