I don’t even know why they falsely claimed Diplomatic Immunity, this is America, they have Wealthy Immunity.

The whole thing is a fucking abortion. They didn’t make one good design choice anywhere on it.

I would be embarrassed to drive something that retarded looking.

That dude officially gets the b@lls of the week medal - “where are you mf, I know you are out there, come on baby, we can do this...” Wonder what all the junk did to the motors...

You shut your whore mouth!

Surfs a flaming Suburban into a lake. Leaps from the blazing inferno... and holds his nose like a little girl before he hits the water.

I like your style.

1) Use the coupons for the hottest salsa you can get.

Spoiler: It looks pretty much the same as the old one.

If someone is charging at me in front of my car with an ax I’m stepping on the gas, but not in reverse.

Dear Jalopnik,

The correct response to finding out that a car in your auction is a certified fraud:

So American Pickers with more cars and motion?

I don't doubt you, but fifteen minutes seems like a long way to go for scrambled eggs. Even if they're the best ever!

I bet you could get ICON to work something up for you.

How about when you hit your mid 30’s and your metabolism slows. I’ve been in a 'plateau' for a couple years now! I’m busting my arse and eating very healthy (I don’t diet, and I never will) but I can't get down to my 20's weight. (Unless I wanted to diet, and I have zero interest in that). Oh well, it is what it is,…

The Nano weighs 1400 pounds. It had 4 fully grown human males, let’s assume 700 pounds worth.

San Pedro de Macoris in the Dominican Republic.

I rolled a 1, and that was a wild ass guess. This was hard. I learned a lot though!