That’s okay, I take my whiskey neat.

Her 200-pound boyfriend, likewise dieting, still needs close to 3,000.

Call me what you will but one day she will be mine.

I didn't cry that much.

Not really a nightmare, but it pissed me off:

For being a dentist he does not have very good teeth.

now you tell me! I just built a huge set of shelving in my garage yesterday. I used a 4 foot level and checked it continuously. Finished the project, stepped back 15 feet to admire my work ... and could see the shelves anything but level :(

"So true," I thought to myself as I looked at my living room curtains, which at one end barely touch the floor but have a good 1/2" clearance at the other.

Mobile beer keg. Insulate the back, put in 3 or 4 kegs, have multiple taps on the side, have it beer festivals, back yard party's.

MAKE THIS DIE.

I've always the thought the Infiniti QX56 looked like it had an allergic reaction to a bee sting.

They were beaten with the same ugly stick.

Street racing seemed like a good idea when I was you know, 17. I honestly cannot imagine being may age (28), having one of those cars, and saying "You know what, I'm going to go out street racing." Goose it from a stop light, fine. Get going fast on a highway by myself. Fine. But blocking lanes and actually racing…

Even with the decent combined income that my wife and I make. I couldn't spend that kind of money on daily transportation. $40k sure. North of that... nope. My kids go to school with an entire population of children who go to school in Range Rovers and Escalades; driven by mommies who do nothing except shop, go to the…

I'm finding all the comments in this thread rather *titillating*...

Sound diffusion, rooms with popcorn ceilings sound quieter because the ceiling is a giant diffuser. Removing that is kinda dumb...

DANGEROUS TRICKS!!!!

I still wouldn't trust that many random drivers with my life. Like I said, at those closing speeds you would appear to come out of nowhere.

I don't wanna get on anyone nerves here, but I get kinda pissed off with people saying this is crap because it doesn't accurately translate the text.