OC is a brilliantly evil multiplayer game, but, like you, I attempted to single play it and I am functionally incapable of completing any levels past the first few in any capacity. So, wow, I’m impressed. In coop, I think this game is more stressful and terrifying than any horror game could ever be.

3D Realms couldn’t make Prey work. The tech wasn’t there in the late 90s. But they tried for a long long time. Years ago, I sat down with Richard “LeveLord” Gray in their offices where he showed me the game running, let me play it a bit, and gave me the excited lowdown about what they were attempting. It was…

Wait... Donald Trump has a fucking flag now?

I enjoyed it well enough to be fine with a sequel, but man, it had like 50 parts that didn’t all fit together. It was, I think, a little too desperate to be true to the source material maybe? I haven’t read the manga, so have no idea. But a tighter story, especially one without the weird teenage romance angle, would…

Another reminder North Dakota is entirely extraneous and brings nothing to the table of America. Also, anyone claiming to be a member of the “Constitutional Task Force Society” (which I assume is some delusional mirage) while supporting an entire administration the pisses all over the Constitution is, one might…

Since they didn’t actually finish the story, I would hope it would. I wasn’t expecting it to be such a sappy teenage love story though, which I could really do entirely without.

Just started playing this the other day and really wanted to like it, til I discovered that dying at any point in the level--even near the very end of a “chapter” bumps you all the way back to the very beginning no matter what. And of course, it’s randomly generated a new level, so you have to go scour it again. It’s…

I disagree. They have way cooler gods than the weirdo Christian cults we have around here.

And then find some poor black guy to blame everything on.

A-Fucking-Men. The game, as far as I’m concerned was vastly better than any of the DMCs Capcom made (a series I never liked much). It was a riveting thoroughly engaging game with terrific gameplay and story, and some of the most outrageously awesome level sets/designs in any game. And the characters in it--be it the…

I wish I had a literary agent bestie who could just greenlit my shitty books like that. Dammit.

A “real” 3D fighter... Hmm, Tekken is fun and all, but not sure I agree there. Virtua Fighter, in particular, still wipes the floor with it and SF 4 and 5 are also better. Obviously, taste is subjective, but Namco fighters were never at the top of my list.

Wow. That’s, ahm, good cosplay...

Yea. And it’s a shame because they had already proven they had a knack for deep, precise action games with Ninja Gaiden Black and the core mechanics of DoA. But I don’t get any impression some marketing asshole told them to sex shit up and they begrudgingly obeyed. It seems pretty clear that’s just where their heads…

That particular incident did put a particularly fine point on the topic, didn’t it...? As a grown-ass human with kids, it’s hard for me to justify my love of a lot of these fighting games when they intentionally make it outright uncomfortable to watch for anyone over 14. SNK Heroines, I’m lookin’ straight at your…

Gah. Yea, I blocked those out. It’s just creepy perv shit, which I know makes certain demographics of gamers immediately jump up to angrily defend all the weird pervy shit they do in games over there, but... Yea, no thanks. If I want porn, I know where to get it and the answer is not on my PlayStation.

Pasta is and will forever be the best choice for all of life.

Funtime story: Back when I was doing a ton of launch coverage for the original Xbox, I *loved* the DoA that launched with it (3?). When everyone was gushing about Soul Caliber—a game still played on entirely flat surfaces with fairly basic defense options—here was a game where nearly every arena had multiple levels, co…

I can’t imagine ever saying the words “It was nice to see how wonderful you are”. Who talks like that? Granted, I don’t have this problem anyway. I cut off acknowledging humans I may have known after about a year or two. It’s better for them. It’s better for me. Everyone’s happy and no awkward social encounters!

Who the hell tips at a damn fast food restaurant? I didn’t like the chain much before, but holy hell...