Tipping wait staff generously should be universal

In fairness, Wells Fargo may have already opened him an account.

Moff Gideon takes no shit.

In honor of the occasion, I have drafted the following haiku, which I dedicate to the brave Cyber Ninjas and all of their hard work:

Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha.

I will pray for you. I will pray that this virus does as much damage to you as you wished it did to others and that you suffer immense pain for all the times you have targeted the most vulnerable among us. I don’t want to hear a word from anyone on the board about me being cruel. No I am showing the same mercy to…

“Woman holds up sign reading “You’re All Winners!” Accidentally kills 10 people.”

Have you see the condition of most public men's rooms? There’s not a lot of common sense to be found...

I can't process what I just read.

Well, now that the cat is out of the bag I’ll share my code...

8675309: For a good time

I sent this in a group text last week and my best friend said “You’ve been in a bad habit of re-using old memes lately, but this one is eternal.”

When I went to Office Depot, they made a double-sided copy on cardstock and laminated *that*, so I have the original and a laminated copy.  The laminated copy goes with me and the original stays in my lockbox with all my other papers.  

At this very moment, someone reading these words is absolutely certain that they are excluded from the group most Black people consider to be racist.

Or you tell them what I told my nephew when he was spouting Qanon shit:

I know people who think like this and it blows my mind and is also a little victim blame-y? Like the millions of Americans who got sick from this virus just weren’t living right, not like you. You healthy, special person with your fantastic immune system from living your correct lifestyle.

Fuck AT&T.

A classic

Will a lawsuit against the tides be next?

Catholics. The most judgy of all the Christers.

and the Lord Jesus spoke: “ye, if thou hast a rockin bod, make yon ducats on the site only for fans, my child! dolla, dolla bills, ye all!”