Um, I’m pretty sure stealing a QBing job was the central plot of the original Ace Ventura film.

Nice to see a Harvard kid finally get a shot.

If he presses back we’ll just tell him that it’s a mark of respect, and we polled the fuckhead population and they’re 90% okay with it.

Just a reminder that right now the Browns are STILL ON an active losing streak that can rival the all-time NFL losing streak of the 1976-77 Tampa Bay Yucs (the infamous 0-26 start). All it will take, I believe, is ten straight losing games to open the season to match that number... and then just one more loss...

...because we should forever associate diner food with the smell of our own piss.

If it’s garbage the flak isn’t misplaced. Things that are garbage always and should get flak. That’s why we have flak.

Since we’re talking about things that suck and no one should have to watch...

Every Met down in Playoffville liked Baseball a lot, but the Wilpon, who lived just north of Playoffville - did not. The Wilpon hated Baseball - the whole Baseball season. Now, please don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. Or it could be that his head wasn’t…

My dad always had to play the water level for me in TMNT.

I would never, ever gloat that someone is the victim of a violent crime. (I abhor prison rape jokes, por ejemplo.)

I disagree.

“I-N-T-E-N-S-I-D-Y.”

Usually it’s because if you throw behind the batter and the catcher still catches it, then both the current batter and the next batter are both automatically called out. If the catcher misses the ball, then the batter on-deck may shout, “Whack-bat!” and the current batter goes to third base, unless it is already…

This storm will pass. And probably be picked off and returned for a TD.