The 19-year-old returned to the game in the third period with a full shield, but couldn’t make it to overtime because his eye had swelled completely shut.

You’re as good at hiding this joke attempt as Fleury is at hiding a puck.

No, no, you got it pretty good. I’d also have gone with “CRYBABY”, although it begs the question if his tear ducts are still intact. ;)

ISAIAH THOMAS LOSES SISTER —-> SCORES 33 POINTS

ZACH WERENSKI GETS A BOOBOO ON HIS EYE —-> OUT FOR THE SEASON

The key there is to score more than you give up in most of your games.

I’d like to think the Blackhawks could have gotten the Presidents Trophy if they had won more games than Washington and lost less.

Not my president’s trophy

“I thought heptathletes couldn’t have babies because they were born with both parts?” - Emmitt Smith

Crosby is just going to continue to push and see what he can get away with. Until the league presumably tells the refs to start calling the “Golden Boy” for penalties, it’ll continue...

10. Salt & Vinegar
11. Jalapeño

A toddler might say to you, “Vroom vroom, I am a truck!”

Washington: It looks like one of them dang Mexicans is heading this way.

Thank you. Bring back lime.

The fuck-up on this one is that green is now green apple.

I wish I could give that 2 stars.

D.B. Pooper

Its going to be pouring so much we’re going to get sick and tired of the pouring. We’re going to say ”Please Mr. President, no more pouring!”

You know what these guys really need? A $54,000 per year tax cut so that their conspicuously consumed dollars can trickle down to the 24 million who are soon to be without health insurance.  

Given all the hunger and suffering in today’s world, this is nothing short of terroirism.