Kinda like irl bears.

Ironic, since his mother clearly didn’t get enough iodine. 

In ‘72, 63 cents could also get you a brand new Sears, Roebuck and Co. Automatic Oyster-Shucker with optional Crab-Shucker Adapter. I’ve had mine for years, and despite the fact that it runs on gasoline and thus stinks up the kitchen pretty good, it’s probably the best crab-disemboweling appliance I’ve ever used.

This always happens to me at the Met. Fuckin prima donnas.

I only buy wines with labels that feature a man with a huge erection drinking said bottle of wine, with the same label, recursively, all the way down to the subatomic level. That’s how you know it’s a nice bottle of grapes.

Their marketing says that eating their subs saves lives. Which means if you don’t eat their subs, they take lives? Presumably by burning down low-income and minority housing developments? I’m just not sure if I can get behind that.

Did you know that if you remove the sticker, the fruit is free? Works with lots of other stuff, too.

I would eat that hyper-garlic pizza. Shameful, but, there it is.

I refuse to play a game in which the bosses can’t be cheesed.

Lol, sad, amateur fucks. There’s already a zero-calorie bread alternative -- it’s called expanded polystyrene. It’s literally free, if you grab it from dumpsters behind warehouses, and it’s healthier than any ingredient on the subway menu. 

Is it true that Alexander the Great ate all the honey he was entombed in and returned to life as some kind of hideous human/bee monster who then destroyed the library of Alexandria in a blind rage?

Yup. 

I started reading a posting at SA in 2001, I think. I like that it had fairly engaged moderators (who weren’t always great, but better than most other cesspools). Some very cool and funny stuff came out of there over the years. Terrible things, too. It was a weird place to come of age on the internet.

There should be a gun in that kit.

Lol, remember that one time trump sycophants tried to overturn democracy and murder politicians they disliked? Crazy times. Oh but this is just a harmless little jest. Just super harmless, teehee.

I thought he was talking about Richard Wokemob, the mysterious Antifa leg-breaker who travels around the country enforcing The Gay/Jewish/Vaccine/CRT/Socialist/Reverse-Racism/Anti-Male Agenda.

They make you step on a scale when you enter to get the tare weight, of course. 

I like raisins in my oatmeal. That’s about it. 

I just assumed that the FDA was responsible for regulating the Full English Breakfast in this crazy, post EU era.

An entire chicken from Costco costs 6 bucks and is 900% better than whatever lukewarm, moist slop they have at chipotle. That’s good news for chicken lovers.