Did you say baked bees? A can of baked bees with human eyeballs? Somebody get the FDA on the horn.

What if New World, with all of its fundamentally broken mechanics and ramshackle underpinnings is actually a super elaborate, long-con critique of the systems of governance and economics that europeans dragged to North America?

Time to seize the means of production. 

This is kind of like saying heart disease is the most popular cause of death in America. 

I dunno man, according to every bootlicking republican cunt on earth, every single one of those insurrectionists was an antifa/FBI infiltrator (presumably antifa’s D.C. HQ is near the FBI HQ so they could coordinate easily).

I sincerely hope he gets raped and impregnated. 

Barbecue sauce should be more vinegary than sweet. It should not be red-colored sugar juice.

I once ordered fish at a restaurant and it came with its head and all its fins still attached. Like they weren’t even trying! I sent it back, naturally, because fish only comes in breaded-stick form.

Hold breath and swallow three times has always worked on the first try for me.

Also, who would ever trust a grown man who goes by “Bobby”?

That’s pretty much how every Hollywood actor got their start — all the way to back to Chaplin.

I’m just into eating fruit. 

I buy costco fruit all the time. Oranges, mandarins, grapes, tomates.

Well. Fuck them. 

If you live in a “tipping culture” kind of place (p.s. abolish tipping, pay a living wage); unless the server strolls up to you, drops his pants, and dips his disease-ridden flaccid dick into your coffee while making intense eye-contact, you should tip.

I hope they use the extra time to add a battle royale mode and a bunch of dance emotes.

So that’s Mario’s O face.

Is a sandwich a hotdog?

Sashimi. Lots of expensive sashimi. 

Hmm, do you have to peel and core eggs to make eggsauce? That would save me a lot of time.