jcexc
JicagoChusticeExcession
jcexc
Oct 23
2

I always assumed Mario’s hat (its official name is Friedrich Bon Chance) was sewn onto his skull and is the only thing holding his purloined flesh costume together.

Oct 20
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Candy clams, you say? Candy Clamato ... a Caesar. A chocolate Caesar served with a garnish of candy clams. There it is. 

Oct 19
9

I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I once rounded up to the nearest dollar on my Costco bill to support the local children’s rehab or drunk veterans or something.

Oct 19
16

There was actually an offshoot of the Manhattan Project that was tasked with developing a candy bar powerful enough to overshadow all other candy bombings combined. It was called the 5th Avenue Project. On the project’s completion, famed chocolatier Robert Cocoanheimer quoted Vishnu, saying “I did what I did and I Read more

Oct 19
30

That’s the crazy thing. There are plenty of regressive, theocratic regimes around the world wherein America’s conservatives could have the life they’ve always wanted. Sure, they call their dumb gods by different names — it’s the same shit: go hog-wild! But noooo, they’ve got to drag the rest of us down with them. 

Oct 17
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Did you know that a goat must consume its body weight in nectar every day, otherwise it will simply float off into the sky, never to be seen again?