I’m thinking it’s time to introduce an Israeli/Palestinian swirl flavor. 

Fermentation is a key step! Given that I’m lazy and impatient, I get my sour pickle fix via goldbelly.

Lol, that beer was gone long before he rolled his atv.

Kitchen archipelago

Dolphins are the shittiest animals in the sea. We should kill and eat them.

Frasier would probably turn into that dork who haphazardly pointed his gun at protesters in St. Louis. So my answer is black rifle coffee.

To be entirely fair, I would break into a Xian Famous Foods to make noodles completely sober. In fact, I’m planning it right now. 

They could make games based on their hit shows like Castelvania and The Witcher. But then again, games based on movies always suck. 

A 24hr truckstop arby’s

This is a good take.

My camping equipment includes an aeropress because I’m a sophisticated outdoors enthusiast. 

Getting some real All Tomorrows vibes here.

I wouldn’t wait in a damn 2-hour line to cure cancer, much less a fucking burrito.

How else are you supposed to cut the oxygen into little pieces?

Here’s a neat little egg fact that most folks don’t know:

I only do a pan-flip when I’m deep-frying stuff.

I bet the future will look like this. In the phenomenally wealthy enclaves of a few outrageously wealthy nations. Under huge domes.

I just add a couple tbsp of dish soap. Does it help with boil-over? No. But it adds a nice little kick of flavor.

“Beefy Ranch” sounds pretty unappetizing.

This is an outrage! Well, I’m off to the PTA meeting where I will demand that white children only be taught Hypocritical Race Theory.