Hey, I agree with this guy. I also think that all regressive shitbirds should sacrifice themselves. Y’know. For America.

I’m not clear on the pounds-per-week meat metric. Because 2 lbs of iberico is gonna do a different sort of damage to 2 lbs of chicken parts.

Final straw; if I have to pay one goddamn more penny for my $5.99 12oz cold-pressed vegetable detox juice, I’ll abandon my life and join a fringe prepper militia.

Every time I see cyber-keanu, I think of johnny 5-aces. 

No lives matter at lululemon, actually.

Sorry, but fritos are easily the worst chip Man has creatred.

shut up, bitch.

Imagine going through life as one of these intolerant fucks. It must be just miserable.

I’m pretty sure 99.999999 percent of people only pay attention to the dates on raw meat and dairy, which they very much should.

My main goal is to get people to forego human meat for one month a year. Just a month! I personally have failed the challenge.

The technically correct past-tense of grill is “grillt”

Get that smut out of here

The pnw heat wave incinerated my cucumbers and tomatoes. The cucumber leaves literally turned into ash when I touched them. And the cucumbers themselves turned into limp, desiccated scrotums.

lol, no

And it was a Japanese dude who developed the wonderful seedless watermelon. It’s a multinational treat!

A pizza place in the middle of nowhere, NV once gave me a pound of canadian bacon because my golden, who was a pup at the time, looked super cute and ... hungry? I guess?

Saltwater taffy tastes like chintzy little shit-hole beach towns crammed full of drunk adults and screaming children on sweltering, sticky, sunburned afternoons.

Sometimes I make a pb&j on meat toast, so I get it.

Actually it’s kind of awkward, but it’s going to take place in night city, circa 2077.