Renegade, but only so I get cool implant scars.

This also works with a Costco-sized bag of Whoppers and a gallon of vodka.

Ah. Well. I hope he and his wife shoot each other in the face.

Did you know that “flamin’ hot cheetos” is actually an abbreviation of “flaming hot cheetos”? That’s a little insider secret.

Aggressively.

Did you know that a male rooster is called a “joey” and a female rooster is called an “antigone”?

Oregoln should be smolked salmon.

Yes, good.

Fuck anyone who would eat at a place that can’t spell fillet. Filet would also be acceptable.

Mmmm surimi.

Yeah, it’s cicadas.

Most cicadas come out every year. It’s just the American ones that are on a funny schedule.

Frozen water.

I don’t think anybody’s allergic to peanuts.

Oof. Devastatingly pathetic.

Lol at the “include many words not appropriate for federal court.” Ok buddy. Sure.

I don’t even own  a tube.

Chicken katsu from Lawson.

I drink vinegar for fun. I really dig that weird, para-orgasmic shiver that runs down your body when you take a shot of something extremely sour. Am I over-sharing? Well too bad, motherfuckers.

Chicken Katsu from Lawson is actually the best. Sorry about your slideshow.