Easily one of the two grossest yellow liquids ever spread across stadium nachos.

My childhood babysitter’s son in law..

He ordered a Coke, but he’ll be lapping up a shake.

I guess sometimes you got to place your order to go.

Trading it in for some Pee, K.

Is this sports?

quebec-why

It’s definitely watersports.

Carville replied, “Frog dont jump no fricasee gator run a slim jim.”

what a lot of people don’t know is that james carville is actually just the “fruiting body” of a much larger underground organism

Chunky, obviously.

omg. her drunk brain thought “conservation group” = “conservative group”

I agree about not wasting peanut butter. That’s like smearing delicious bacon. What the heck were you thinking?

Use Vaseline instead.

Relatable? Bullshit.

Soccer Mom is way worse than Beer Dude in that scenario though. If one of her kids steals your seat, and you have the NERVE to ask for it back, you’re an irredeemable asshole.

My wife took me to Texas de Brazil for my birthday one year and expected sex afterwards. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, LADY.

The next time you get a side-eye for what you purchased, just remember: Ms. Judgemental is a fucking cashier.

Shut your damn mouth. Self Checkout is the greatest thing in the world, because it allows you to buy embarrassing as shit without having to face a judgemental cashier. They took out all the self checkout aisles from my CVS and I wanted to punch a child in the stomach. So now I have to buy several other things so…

Texas de Brazil, same set up as Fogo de Choa, but better. I go there once a year to absolutely defile myself with steak. Like, I have straight refused to allow my girlfriend to come with my friends and I, because she would only be disgusted.

Ballpark seat man can fuck RIGHT off. There is nothing worse than getting to your seat in the third inning after hitting traffic and some fat homer is already parked in it spilling beer and peanut shells everywhere. Then they give you a dirty look like you’re inconveniencing him and make a big production out of…