Some valuable advice for you: if you have to explain your joke, it’s probably not a very good one.

Two questions...

I had a similar experience once in Boston—had my back window smashed out and my Yankees license plate frame ripped off while my car was in a public garage.

Well, shit, that’s embarrassing and too late to edit. Thanks for not being a dick about it though.

Never understood why people with gobs of money feel the need to steal stuff...there’s no quicker way for me to lose all respect for someone than that. Reminds me of the whole Winona Ryder thing.

We’re of Scandinavian descent, so not too far off!

Funny that you added that last line...that’s almost word for word what my parents told me and my siblings growing up. Not bad advice at all.

Please. That would require common sense at the Federal level.

I read an interesting article the other day about parents who get together to smoke/vape every now and then, and how it’s finally becoming more accepted as similar (arguably much better for you as well) to meeting up for a few drinks. Unfortunately I can’t recall what magazine it was in, but it was a really…

It’s probably too late for Episode VIII, but I think it would be really neat if they worked in a tribute to Warwick Davis in an R2 unit’s name at some point.

Thanks for the tip! (I’m not being sarcastic—I know little about WI craft beer apart from New Glarus. I’ll have to look out for those brands next time I’m in state). The trick is convincing my relatives there who think Corona is exotic to try it.

Shame that it wasn’t Joe West.

Ugh. Hamilton Nolan writing for Deadspin. Just what nobody wanted.

On Deadspin? I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell ya!

His Comedy Central roast was on last night...man, it got painful/awkward at times.

Thank you. It’s patently ridiculous to say that Lochte lost races to Phelps simply because he wasn’t smart enough.

...or, you know, it could be that Phelps is pretty clearly the GOAT, and Lochte just had shitty luck in having the prime of his career at the same time. Occam’s Razor and all that.

It’s almost like the people who run NFL teams don’t love a mediocre-at-best QB who (whether you agree with him or not) has become an enormous distraction for the team. Shocking.

A system that records video of your employees while they’re unaware of it? You may want to double check your state’s privacy laws...

Yet here you are!