Wait...that can't be her real name, can it? Is it not Kelly? Is she Eartha Kitt's daughter? Confused.

Sadly, I think it is sexy. I'm sorry for admitting that, I will go away now.

You can do no wrong, Carmella.

SO BORING. I really thought she would go all out, like Pilot Inspektor style. Sad.

Robert wins. That necklace. Such a cool dude.

I was in a relationship for two years where we had sex every night because we just assumed the other one wanted it. It was very "duty" feeling, but it was also, like, nice feeling. There was no will we/ won't we, and sometimes it was better than other times, sometimes there was more effort etc etc. but I think in the…

THANK YOU FASHION GODS.

I LOVE THAT IDEA.

I literally take being called "quirky" as an insult. It's like...are you calling me weird? Or like, I look nothing like Zooey Deschanel so I'm usually just confused. While we're airing grievances, I hate when people say that I have beautiful eyes. It's like...I'm 24...if my eyes were a THING, I would have heard about…

I would say that I don't believe this to be true...but yesterday my otherwise-dormant OkCupid account got over 12 messages. About ten of them told me I looked "quirky"...but that's another problem.

Wow I didn't know there was a way to make that man NOT sexy....but they did it! Yay!

BRUCE ON THE LOOSE!

We are jaded. It is no longer the 1st. Party's over, prepare for the worst.

WOWWWW Thanks so much you're SO nice I really appreciate it.

Acting as a human easel sounds amazing. Can I have that job? PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS.

Honestly, call me gross, but I feel like this story was more funny than disgusting. Could be my Crohn's talking. Womp.

What else would you expect from a football organization at this point? Football is no place for things like women with their vaginas and attempted equal rights.

Whoops just cried a little. People amaze me with their positivity and strength.

Morning after ubers are also cool. I do not discriminate.

Need reaction video!!!