I would like to personally welcome him the club of those who LeBron has not dunked on

The ball is moving on the right side of Kobe’s face as he moves away.

My wife, a lovely and thoughtful woman, purchased a very expensive Redskins jacket for my birthday a couple of years ago. What she hadn’t realized is I had abandoned this morally bankrupt team and cringed at the thought of wearing the fucking jacket in public. 

Coincidentally, she had also been imploring me to lose…

“On behalf of the entire crew, it has been a pleasure serving you today and we are looking forward to see you in one of our future flights. We do realize that you have a choice when you fly, and we thank you for making us number 1.”

Looking forward to Buck walking in front of the anthem singer the next time Chris Tillman starts.  

“You see fellow fans, I too am monitoring Russell Westbrook’s infraction total and am jubilant he has reached a suitable number to force his return to the non-playing zone. It is four. Four infractions. Oh what fun. I prefer our troupe to theirs, do you not, chums?”

It’s nice to see Michigan State really cracking down on the problems in their athletic department

Republican in the front, skinhead in the back.

Has there ever been an era of less charismatic quarterbacks in the NFL? Every good QB currently in the league seems like a complete shithead, scammer, or obsessive maniac.

Sued by DOJ for refusing to rent to black people, ultimately settling the case (despite “never settling”), then sued and settles again for failing to live up to original settlement.

Personally, microwaving hot dogs is my favorite way to cook them.

Juror #7:
You a Yankee fan?

I recently went down to NYC this weekend with my girlfriend

This is the reason why I don’t play in international friendlies.

You don’t roll up in your regular ride when you’re about to commit a senseless homicide. You get a car that you can ditch quickly and walk away from clean.

100% of Hollow_Logs didn’t know J.D. Power did anything other than award every car every award.

“Some of y’all can count TO TEN?!”

The people who criticize him for this decision are also the same people that can’t add if the sum is greater than 10, due to a lack of additional fingers.

I look forward to his induction speech, when Elvis Andrus sneaks on stage and touches his head, and Beltre freaks the fuck out.

They can’t bring in Kaepernick, if he ever takes a knee to close out a game he will be disrespecting the military.