That junkyard headquarters is the kind of thing every kid thinks would be the most awesome thing in the world and every adult realizes would be incomprehensibly dangerous.

Encyclopedia Brown taught me that if a month starts on a Sunday, there will be a Friday the 13th.

it is because of encyclopedia brown that i know the word “bookkeeper” is the only word in the english language with three double letters in a row. 

“The series differed from classic Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys because...”

Oh, man, the Three Investigators’ clubhouse hidden deep in their dad’s junkyard was my jam as a kid.

Garbage deserves more recognition. Version 2.0 is fantastic from start to finish.

Why is everything white?

It wasn’t until I saw it written out that I fully appreciated the name Riverbrook Lake Farms.

1) What was amazing about this interview was watching it while Twitter literally blew up with pictures of Prince Andrew looking flushed and sloppy, untucked shirts and khakis, with fakebake tan party girls all around him in various places around the world. Being LICKED.

I watched clips of this interview through headphones while I was in an airport yesterday. People in the terminal kept looking at me as I audibly guffawed every 20 seconds. Each sentence out of his mouth was more arrogant and absurd than the last.

We couldn’t possibly investigate, say, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Prince Andrew, Ehud Barak, Steven Pinker, Alan Dershowitz, or any of the other prominent figures associated with Epstein. Gotta arrest these guys, lock em up, make sure we can stamp this one and file it as “done.”

I’m bipolar. Because it’s a lifelong illness, you learn to recognise the symptoms and the necessity for medication. There are therapy methods designed to help bipolar patients identify signs of mania and depression and once bipolar patients hit middle-age, they tend to have so much experience with their illness they…

There is so much in that brief second. Kristin Bell is great.

That brief moment of doubt before she flashed the smile is what sold it.  Little blink, little headshake...

The laughs. Those laughs. We knew Michael had it in him but Eleanor’s version was such a perfect impression of it. Eleanor was always the most like him and this was the final proof. She was born to do this.

Michael: Can you make them clap harder?

Re: “Lobster Themed Fetish Gear.”

We’ve been ruining the sanctity of marriage right from the start!

This is why heterosexuals shouldn’t be allowed to get married.