How do you still have a job? Jesus.

Everything about it reeks of a privileged girl sitting in a trendy hipster coffee shop in NYC, staring out the window at a line of cars, thinking “I know what will solve everything! Just ban cars! I don’t need a car, I walk to my vegan yogurt store! Why can’t everyone just live in NYC and not own cars!?”

Fuck, calling Discovery channel to have everyone fired.

I've used a similar with good success— "I am not very good at navigating office politics. I am a very direct person— if there is a problem, I talk about it. I say what I mean. I used to expect others to do the same, so was completely oblivious to office politics happening around me. Inevitably I'd end up stepping…

What my greatest weakness?

On technical level, Contact is nearly unparalleled in its brilliance. The "running to get the medicine" shot is an amazing trick shot that expertly and invisibly uses CGI to combine shots.

tl;dnr because.....

"...that reminded some of us of a very toned down whippit high..."

If I'm eating out I'm definitely not asking the waiter/waitress for a "bin end list" of wine. That's just self deprecating. If you're eating at a nice enough place for wine buy the nice stuff.

Raise your hand if you yawned while reading this article ::raises hand::

Also: "I know! You construct a weapon. Look around, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?"

DON'T OPEN THAT! IT'S AN ALIEN PLANET! IS THERE AIR!? YOU DON'T KNOW!!

I know this sounds not-jalop enough or whatever, but this is why I buy new cars. They're all new and shiny and have warranties and I pay for depreciation rather than repairs. Just a personal choice really. Paying for a repair always made me think, "I'd rather just have a car payment instead of this".

Jesus. Gotta wonder, though, why the hell was the guy recording in the first place?

I remember seeing my cat's penis for the first time and thinking he had a worm crawling out of his ass. As I got closer to pull it out my wife warned me that was in fact his dick and she basically saved my life. Eternally grateful.

Dishwasher Cleaner

Bro

Listicles sounds so dirty. It's like getting tea bagged with the news.

I've found that fidgeting with something helps. Whenever I start to feel anxious, I find something to put in my hands and fool around with to help distract me/physically work out my anxiety. It also helps to keep me grounded when I feel like I'm slipping into dissociation.

The Spark.