No, if it's a politician, it kinda equals out. Not even time in purgatory for this one.

More cute than insane. Waiting back stage at the Kennedy Center Honors, just me and Tom Hanks. He was waiting for his cue to enter, and I was the first to places for the choir entrance. Mr. Hanks was watching the backstage monitor as the house camera panned the audience. When the camera landed on Rita Wilson, Mr.…

She's the best. I was at a post premiere party for a movie she was in and it was packed with famous people. She was sitting in a corner and was the person in the room I really wanted to meet so I walked up to her and just said "I'm really sorry to interrupt but I'd always regret it if I didn't say hi and you're…

I met John Ritter in a bar and he asked me to hold his beer. Then he immediately yelled, "BARTENDER! THIS KID IS GETTING DRUNK OVER HERE!!", which made everyone in the bar turn and look, and me blush like crazy (I was 11). Then he bought me a water... which, errm.. was free. Because water. Also because open bar..…

Circa 2002? Maybe 2003.

I was the Room Service Coordinator at a casino in Atlantic City, NJ. My job consisted of taking orders via phone, creating the checks, assigning servers, and closing the checks. Room service also handled all the amenities for the shows, so I've been on the phone with an assortment of…

And hung on a cord you wore around your neck.

I want Macklemore to marry Miley Cyrus and Iggy Azalea, Sister Wives style. Then have a reality show centered around the thrift shop/center for misguided youths they run now that they have all found love with each other.

Jane's Addiction.

Watch out, Peter, that's always a lie.

45. [Privately, to Peter King] "I won't come in your mouth."

YEAH let's all share pics of our dogs!

I'm partial to this one

Every day is the Puppy Bowl at my house.

Yes.

Gronk and Beastmode

This needs to be a sitcom, or a reality show. Just have these two live together and be themselves. That was unexpectedly, extremely, funny.

Lebron likes keeping stiffs employed. Loved Mike Miller and thought that when healthy he was one of the most underrated players in the league, but he was running on fumes last year. Can't blame Riley.

I'm just saying, it'd make a better halftime show. That's all.

awww