Esports not being included makes sense, given that every other event is primarily physical, while esports are almost entirely mental. Chess isn’t in the Olympics, either.

Now, escorts in the Olympics will probably stick around for a while

Well, you know what they say - ‘When in Brome, brew as the Bromans brew’

True, but the coverage of that was actually pretty good

Pardon my ignorance (I’m still waiting for the price on this to drop), but does this add anything to the single-player game? Do any of the updates?

For the sweet, sweet stars. Same as Morio

Plumber? No - he has a hammer, right? So he’s a carpenter. If he were a plumber he would have a plunger or a snake or something.

Cloud is an Xbox character, not Nintendo! He’s from Dragon Questers!

Let’s not get crazy. I was going to reference a generic fantasy hero, but I can’t find the Link

What’s ‘Pikachu,’ some kind of dinosaur? What’s next, a hero who is a toilet repairman?

I misread the headline as Finger Murdered by Parrot. You have to admit, that makes a lot of sense too

Never heard of him. Is he supposed to be Greek or something? A Greek carpenter, real memorable

Wow, I love Peach’s new look! Nintendo might finally have designed a memorable character!

Catalog, or pamphlet?

I guess they are hoping this game will be a ... hit?

Yea I was mainly kidding - it’s just fun to roll my eyes at the big N.

Rocket League, Skyrim, Binding of Isaac... What a great catalog of 5-year-old PC ports. What’s next, Portal 2?

doh beat me by 1 minute