I, myself, am I huge proponent of the theory that, as an older man subject to all the metabolic changes men are subject to as they age, he suffered some sort of injury that, serious or not, hampered his ability to keep up his workout regimen, leading to weight gain.

Is this the same police force that assured everyone they saw Shelly Miscavich and she’s just fine?

I have no idea why I’m so intrigued by this story but damn if that isn’t a freaking enthralling podcast. I really hope he is OK, he deserves to be.

Not only can you eat them, THEY COME WITH THEIR OWN BOWL. Were they, like turtles, “Intelligently Designed” to be eaten?

Can we pool our money to set up a fake gay conversion camp for kids? We’ll be all churchy and then when the parents pull away, it’ll just be a regular fun camp for kids with shitty parents.

Hey, I’m a teacher from a school that is (partially) closing tomorrow in observance of the strike (some parents and teachers are volunteering to provide backup care to families who cannot get childcare) . I am seeing a lot of comments here and on other websites calling striking teachers selfish, or getting mad that…

“Anthony says she’s often whispered about in bars”

It’s an avalanche of information, and worry. And doctors are not always good communicators. Hugs, again.

I made it to 1:42 before I started asking myself what the fuck was wrong with me.

I had a dream last night that it was the apocalypse and I was getting pulled into the firey pits. Idk I guess that was the world preparing me for this piece of shit.

Every single song by this woman is her informing us that she’s not like other women and that’s ok because she’s better. Can she just not?

“I am so confused by this song. Probably because it’s been a long week and I fried my brain days ago but I can’t stop overthinking it...”

When did toddlers become young ladies? Is this asshole familiar with the case at all? Or is he just super confused about human beings?

I don’t even treat my cat like that, and he’s an unapologetic asshole. When I leave he gets an explanation, a general ETA and his ‘shows’ put on repeat (animal planet’s big cat diaries). Other than sheer malice, I can’t think of a single reason to leave like that, much less turn off the lights.

She was obviously very busy tweeting Frederick Douglass to ask him why he didn’t show up to this important meeting of black educators. He’s doing such fine work, he would have been an asset to the group.

When you’ve been fighting with Warren Beatty over who gets to announce the Best Picture winner and you think you’ve won the argument but then he knowingly lets you read from the wrong envelope:

This made my ENTIRE LIFE! Wish this wasn’t happening? WHERE??!! It NEEDED to happen! Remy Ma decimated Nicki in seven minutes. I was so shook that I immediately went to the pews of the Greater Missionary Church of Black Twitter and let the words of the congregation wash over me. The best? “I didn’t know that Meek…

And who could forget Demi Moore looking like a bike-messenger sex worker from the old west?

i thought the opening was cute. it’s nice to see that they aren’t just a bunch of stick in the muds and can have a good time.