forget it, I'm not wading into this.

I once had a cab refuse to come get me in Birmingham Alabama because I was working at a JCC. The cab driver who did eventually come had a couple of interesting opinions about Judaism, which he shared with us (they weren't hateful, just weird). Just for the record, no one in our group was Jewish...

Oh my god, did you go to that? It was sooo much fun. The best part was when Obama reached into a bag of iPhones and just started throwing them out into a crowd of lazy drug addicts like they were parade candy. Next year I hear they're going to have babies on spikes in a stem cell sauce as an appetizer. Make sure to…

Boom!

To be fair, Fit Mom's muscles do look much prettier than mine but, I can stand on one hand and swing on a flying trapeze, so I win.

This is a thing I've never understood. My job involves being very athletic so I hold myself to a very high standard of fitness, but I have no interest in judging how other people feel about their bodies. What's the point? I have my own body to take care of.

It depends if you're celebrating the mythic 'First Thanksgiving' that we're all told about in kindergarten or the national holiday for giving thanks declared by Abraham Lincoln in 1863. Personally I like to celebrate the second one because it has less jesus in it than Christmas.

Forget the sweater, I want that coat!

This makes me so sad. I'm obviously seeing this through the fog of nostalgia, but when I was growing up we always kind of prided ourselves on being better fans and having a better football culture than Miami or Florida. When I was at school, we did have normal shady football cover ups (Peter Warrick was caught…

well, it's true anyway.

never mind that was too weird.

In Massachusetts, we just call it driving.

Whatever you say.

Are you that desperate to have the last word?

He sure does have a weird fixation around calling Napoli fat. All I'm saying is that he doesn't look that fat to me. There are definitely fatter baseball players out there.

Only replying to your replies, cowboy.

Haha, you sound like one classy person. You probably couldn't tell an athlete from your asshole. I don't care what being a model is, I was talking about what being in shape to be an athlete actually looks like. It's not the same as being in shape to be a model.

Congratulations? I don't care. The point I was making is that not every athlete is 'ripped'. Mike Napoli in shape to hit baseballs, not look pretty and a picture of him drunk and bloated doesn't mean he's fat and 'mooby'.

If you were really a fitness model, you'd probably know that not all body types get ripped when they get in shape, you'd also be able to recognize that he's in pretty good shape, just bloated from drinking beer all day, because that's what happens. Most body builders dehydrate themselves before competitions so their…

Do they also have the part where she's paraded around Europe and dies at 22 of an unknown European disease?