This racist piece of shit probably thought “hey, if even a black guy can do it, how hard can being president be?”

I’ll let Andy Borowitz respond

He also told Reuters that he thought the presidency would be easier than his “old life.”

whut?

As someone with family in South Korea, what the everloving fuck, is this?!

I find that I can’t even read complete transcripts of his interviews, it’s just incoherent babble throughout the whole thing.

Remember how after Obama was elected he tried to make the very obvious connection between Bush’s policies and the crap state of the economy, and Republicans vilified him for it and said he should stop blaming Bush for the economy?

Donald Trump thinks a “high risk pool” is when there’s a black person swimming at Mar-A-Lago.

So in other words it was another shitty, crazy day.

A thousand stars. This”hotline” is designed only to capture “stories” that can then be used to “support” the Trumpian agenda. They can offer no help, only information, so what are they offering that local police, google searches and community outreach programs can’t? Nothing. Other than stealing your data like a…

So I found a baby bird and took it to a wildlife rehab center and while I was there this woman started talking about how her husband has been out of work. And then she started shouting with joy that that’s going to change because “now we have Trump!” And I had to stifle a snort.

How is pranking these assholes hurting victims?

You don’t think he actually did that, do you? He probably didn’t even remember it’s her birthday until the staffer that made that told him.

But “ban” is in quotation marks so it could mean anything. I mean “tapped” means all types of surveillance.

To be fair, most of Melania’s non-Trump photos involve her grabbing her own crotch, pretending to eat a lavish meal of diamond encrusted jewelry, or doing construction work in nothing but a bikini and diamond bracelets. Which do you choose? 

“Governor LePage of Maine, who, by the way, has lost a lot of weight,” the President of the United States said. “I knew him when he was heavy and now I know him when he was thin and I like him both ways, okay?” 

Mr. Trump cannot even send birthday wishes without positioning himself in absolute center of the photograph.

The fact that he still refers to the ban as “the ban” is really not going to help his case in court, is it?

But when women support women, they’re just “voting with their vagina.”

“It’s funny, the left says they really respect women, and then when given an opportunity to respect a woman like that, they boo and hiss.