Jenny McCarthy and Ashley I.: My two favorite delusional goddesses in one place.

Don't forget the glass shard and rusty metal shavings lube.

As a Jew, fuck all these people. Fuck them right up their self-righteous, ignorant asses. With a hot fire poker. That has barbs on it. Twice. No, three times. At least.

I pretty much hated everyone by the end. Including myself.

I do not have a "down there". Ms. James. Just an FYI.

I really, really love it so much when people, male or female, tell me what women do and do not like. Because even though I know we're a monolith that experiences identical feelings in a massive universal synchronicity that boys and men can't even begin to fathom, my feeble lady brain can't keep track of those…

"'Keep still,' he orders and slowly he inserts his thumb, inside me, rotating it around and around, storking the front wall of my vagina."

i do think it's complicated, and if this interview strikes you as me playing him for laughs then we're going to have to agree to disagree

this story is great to me mainly because it doesn't involve any sort of marine life.

And he would think you're a slut afterwards. #logic

Who, and I mean, WHO actually believed this story?

See, that feminist was doing it wrong. Personally, I'm excited to have my own personal white man that I can corrupt with all my social justice warrior evil. Baby sleeper agent!

And respectability politics is really only directed at the Black community as some sort of justification for oppression and violence. Because GOD KNOWS there aren't any white people who aren't articulate or speak in "jibberish."

I feel like some women might be. "Ah, fuck. There's a chance that I have to deal with escaping from his advances? Damn it."

Yeah, that paragraph made me so angry. Thank you for putting my anger in to words.

Ethan, honey, nobody at the gym is sorry to find out you're not gay.

I feel like I was the only person cutting them a break on the Kent State mistake, since it was pretty obviously the usual splotched garbage with a little extra red dye. But this? C'mon, this is so obvious that anyone with two pennies in their head knows what it is.

Why is there an article dedicated to one girls suicide? Thousands of people commit suicide every year. What is so unique about this one? A girl has sex with multiple boys, someone films it, she is harassed at school, and kills herself. We have heard it all before.

Azealia...girl...no. You are not allowed to define what a slur means unless you are the object of that slur. And even then, it's a slippery slope. Please stop.

I mean, if orgies were an option I would... no, I'd still just order some Thai food and do my nails. Different strokes! (ew)